Wind, Remember and Forgive Me
by Rome OMD
Summary: An anniversary of his beloved's death returns a wish that has been locked inside his heart for so many years.


Summary: An anniversary of his beloved's death returns a wish that had been locked inside his heart for so many years.

Part(s): One-shot

Rating: G

Author: Rome OMD

Date of Completion: 11/26/03

Date of Release: 12/13/03

Note(s): I do not know how to use Japanese and my knowledge of RK is very, very limited. If you're looking for accuracy, don't look here. I did try (though my efforts hardly do anything) and as always and will forever be, there is some OOC. Also, there is a truckload of idiotic and pointless fluff.

Disclaimer: _Rurouni Kenshin_ is not my property and I am only using some aspects of the story line and the characters for non-profit uses.

Wind, Remember and Forgive Me

"_Mou_, Kenshin, you really need to take it easier. Just look at all your battle wounds; you're completely covered with them," Kaoru remarked, bandaging the open injuries.

"Maybe if you finally stop getting yourself kidnapped like that, he would finally get a break." Yahiko challenged Kaoru's glare.

"Well, if you'd actually finish your groceries on time like I ask you to then I wouldn't need to spend an hour searching around for you. I've got my life too."

"Really?" Sanosuke inquired.

"It's not my fault that you decided to take that very stupid turn down the-"

"Really, please, stop figh-" Kenshin pleaded but quickly surrendered when they challenged him with their unbeatable glares. He sighed deeply and because no progress was being made on his bandages, Sanosuke took over without Kaoru ever acknowledging his substitution as she continued the fierce battle between her and Yahiko.

"How are ya doing?"

"A bit worn but still fine, _de gozaru yo_."

"Y'know, I was a bit - no, I lied - very much surprised when you lowered your defenses near the end, allowing just enough time for that _bakayarou_ to attack you. I mean, what happened? You probably could've avoided the majority of these wounds." His eyes surveyed Kenshin's uncovered body and watched him lower his right arm when it was fully bandaged. It took Sanosuke a while to process his friend's slightly unfocused eyes. "Oi, Kenshin, I didn't mean-"

"Don't worry, Sano. You're right, so don't apologize. After all, it's impossible to win against time; nothing last forever."

"C'mon, you act like you're still in your teens or something."

"Do I really?" Kenshin slightly chuckled in spite of himself. By now, Kaoru and Yahiko's argument had finished but the aftermath wasn't any better as they continuously evaded each other's gaze, presence, or basically, each other. "_Arigatou_, Sano," he thanked and left so unobtrusively that it seemed he was never there in the first place.

***

The night's tranquility would have eased Kenshin on any other occasion but it could not do so tonight. The time was about midnight and everyone was already asleep, all worries forgotten. As he sat on the hardwood floor, he stared straight into the endless horizon to the farthest of what he could see of the world while ignoring the winter winds that embraced his bandaged body. Kenshin was too occupied with the thoughts inside his mind to even process the surroundings that were attempting their hardest to pull him back to the real world.

Minutes later, he re-entered the dojo and traveled to his room. With the uneasiness surfacing in his heart, Kenshin settled by in the corner instead of resting amid the warmth of his _tatami _mat, the _sakabatou_ leaning against his shoulder like it had always before. He shut his eyes in hope of sleep though he already knew it was hopeless. From within his mind's image, he produced a folded silk sash so gorgeously woven. Unfolding it to its true appearance, the gentle material flowed in his hands, each inch tender and soft to the touch. As it entranced his hands, a scent that was not present earlier suddenly filled the room, captivating him in the image of someone that no longer existed in this world. 

__

How long has it been? How many years has it been since you've departed from this world to a place where life would be exceedingly better because I didn't exist to ruin your life anymore? Though I've lost count several years ago, I will never let today be forgotten in my lifetime, ever. Kenshin shuffled against the wall as he continued his thoughts_. I only deceived you when I promised to protect you, ending your life far earlier that what was to be. Your life was twisted and shortened; your future should've been free of any melancholy or anguish and I was the one who twisted and shortened it, not allowing a moment of that future of simplicity for you to experience._

As I live and endure everyday of the life you gave me, your memory has never been neglected. Because of your patience and your kindness, I've learned what a life without killing and blood could be like. You've helped me discover a part of me that I never knew could exist in this person that had murdered several hundreds if not more. You've served as my purpose, the purpose for continuing and protecting others. I since then have had something to fight for, a passion to protect.

However, I'm also engulfed in a guilt that I know is inescapable. All is due to my thoughtless decisions, my faults… If you hear me… A blanket of deep sleep then covered the tired samurai.

"Forgive me…Tomoe…"

***

Arbitrarily wandering the busy streets of the marketplace, Kenshin felt his heart grow content when he reached the border that separated the active stands and restaurants with the simple calming countryside. Crossing the wooden bridge, he admired the landscape that was only subtly affected by the arrival of the winter weather. As Kenshin wandered on the dirt road, houses, rather than next to each other, were separated with spacious intervals and were very rare to come by.

The samurai settled down beside a semi-frozen river. Only the topmost layer of water had been frozen into ice while the rest had only lowered their temperature but still kept the capability to flow downstream. Kenshin, not having anything in particular to do that day, had decided to spend it out of the dojo for all the chores that were to be finished had already been completed. And because it was the day after the anniversary of Tomoe's departure, he believed that a day to himself would serve best for his mind, body, and heart.

The wind was less harsh than yesterday; it was only enough to make one think the day was slightly chilly. But all was overall pleasing and contenting with the sun's comfortable presence. Then there arrived a very powerful gust of wind that enveloped both Kenshin and his surroundings in such a moment that it seemed time had momentarily paused. The cold against his body that had forced him to slightly tremble abruptly left; and the temperature rose quite an amount, almost as if making up for the discomfort from before.

The samurai briefly fingered the _sakabatou_,his choice of weapon after the _Hittokiri Battousai_ had died - at least that was what he hoped for. But, regardless, his past always somehow managed to return and haunt him in the form of either vengeful rivals or their descendants to finish unsettled feuds. Kenshin frequently cursed the despicable name but then always wondered if it was more of a mixed blessing he should more acquiescently accept for it was then that he had been introduced to the most significant person of his life. Just her mere image was enough to trigger a domino effect of rushing emotions throughout his mind and body.

As Kenshin stood up and turned to face the road, it cost him only a blink before he realized there was someone walking on the road and another blink that she was a lady. When her gaze landed on him, the lady started moving in his direction and for convenience sake, Kenshin shortened the distance by walking towards her also. 

"Excuse me," her quiet voice asked as she continued to walk closer. 

"Yes, miss?"

"Would it be possible if you could guide me to the - " A sudden pain in her left shoulder forced her to lurch forward, her hair also falling to curtain her face. 

Kenshin caught her with his arms and questioned, "Are you okay, miss?"

"Ah, _hai_, thank you. Forgive my weak shoulder; it seems that it's too obstinate to heal. It was clumsily cut with a blade and…" However, her voice quieted from his ears when his mind began to process the gentle voice, polite speech, her long raven hair that was tied in that so familiar manner, and the scent of her body that emphasized with the wind's passing. Finally switching his gaze from the lady's shoulder to her face, an emotion that had been buried dead from his body for so long after the demise of the _Hittokiri Battousai_ surfaced.

Then, a tranquil pair of eyes met his. If she had not already straightened herself up, Kenshin would have already dropped her onto the ground in his moment of disbelief. 

__

It cannot be… It isn't… Age is controlling too much of you now… With that reassuring though, Kenshin inquired, remembering his meeting with the sister of Gentatsu on a trip to Kyoto earlier, "Toki-dono, how-"

The lady gently chuckled, "I'm sorry, but you must be confusing me with another. I'm not…" Another heavy gust of wind erased the rest of the sentence but he did not notice at all.

She stood, benevolently facing him with the proper decorum, once again questioning for directions but he unconsciously cut her off. Before Kenshin could fully process his actions, he found her agreeing to his invitation for a drink.

***

During the entire outing, Kenshin attempted his best to avert his gaze from the lady sitting in front of him in fear of presenting himself too rude but it was eventually discovered to be unavoidable. When she sipped from her cup, he took those chances to re-examine her, in hope that it was because of his aging mind that created these illusions of old emotions he had felt for her. Because if he even allowed a second of himself to believe it was truly her, then the pain he would have to endure would be too much for his heart to handle when he would discover it was not. However, so painfully did the samurai want to identify her as the one he had fallen for.

They began with a structured and polite conversation but as curiosity conquered too much of Kenshin's body, he eventually asked about the origin of her shoulder wound for he did not hear the full explanation when she had explained earlier. "It was a careless mistake. While the blade had been aimed at another, it was my intervention that caused it to miss and therefore cut my shoulder. The blade has now been changed to a _sakabatou_ thankfully. Now, it can finally be used to only protect." She sipped her drink again. "At times however I feel regret for ever entering his life. I've scarred him, in his heart and body; but the remnants will never leave unless he's willing to finally let go of…"

__

Ore…kimiyo…kimiyo…mamoru… "Excuse me for having asked about such an occult matter. It was neither my business nor right to ask."

"It's fine. Confiding to a stranger can sometimes be the best decision to make." Her statement was supported with a nod. 

"The carrier of the _sakabatou_; what relationship did you possess with him?"

There was a brief pause of awkward silence. "He should know what our relationship is."

__

Is…? But she simply cannot, cannot be…!

The samurai unknowingly winced from the wounds on his arm and it was not until the lady mentioned what he had done that the pain began to reverberate throughout his body. She seated herself beside him, which was the last action either would have expected from a stranger that they had encountered only hours ago from almost out of nowhere. But there subsisted a sense of consolation between the two that allowed the action to be done without any opposition. Kenshin merely watched as she began to check his bandaged arm and it was funny how as people passed that they did not give any gazes or stares.

"You need a fresh one, here." Almost magically, the lady produced a roll of bandaging cloth and then started to strip the older material off. The connection between her soft skin and his sent a spark of familiarity through his body and though unwanted, his heart began to beat much quicker. The next comment the lady made seemed more to herself but he heard it nevertheless. "While you protect others with your life, who protects you?"

A low breathy answer emerged from Kenshin's throat. "Someone who no longer exists anywhere in this world but inside my memories and heart." There was no answer and he inhaled a deep breath that contained the lady's fresh aroma.

***

The two continued to converse with each other as they freely explored the marketplace, simply passing the day. But as sunset finally arrived, the lady excused herself for she needed to leave.

"Thank you for today, very much."

"It was my pleasure," Kenshin smiled in return, radiating the mirth that had not yet been and would not be destroyed with time. She politely bowed before turning away. He paused for a moment for his ears had caught someone calling his name before asking, "Out of curiosity, but do you still need directions to wherever you were searching for earlier?"

"_Iie_, I can find my destination on my own now."

"To where did you need to go?"

She smiled back at him then walked away. When her figure disappeared within the crowds, a quiet voice whispered into his ears as a wind blew. "To the one who has kept me alive."

***

"Kenshin, you're pretty quiet today. Is anything the matter?" Kaoru asked, looking up from her rice bowl. Her attention however was diverted when she roughly poked Sanosuke's hand to prevent him from picking the fish with it instead of using the chopsticks. "Don't you know manners?" He grunted in return.

"_Daijoubu de gozaru_."

"You know, I've come to a conclusion: It's always because of you if Kenshin's acting strangely. I mean, just take today, two instances already and also -"

"What are you implying, Ya - hi - ko?" The stuttered words were caused by the anger that was boiling in her blood.

"Really, who caused him to be wounded as he is? And - "

"Okay, all who agree to the repatriation of Myoujin Yahiko to, let's see, some isolated island in the middle of the Pacific, say 'I'!" Two "I's" filled the room. "You should be grateful!"

"Yeah, whatever. Hey, Kenshin, who was that very beautiful _ojou-san_ you were with today?"

Sanosuke's ears perked up with interest. "A very beautiful lady?"

"Oh, yeah," the younger one confirmed but then felt a painful bop on his head. "Hey!"

"Anyone older is pretty to you," Kaoru remarked.

"Except probably her," Sanosuke added, pointing to the only female in the room. Both snickered in response while ignoring her hateful gaze.

She continued the investigation. "So, who was she?"

Kenshin briefly turned away to face the arriving night sky before continuing his meal. "I don't know."

Everyone fell, dumfounded. "What?!" Kenshin widened his eyes a bit from their sudden outburst.

"You could've at least gotten her name. From his description here, she sounds like someone worth while. No clue what her name is?"

"Maybe it's something _kawaii_ like Hikari or Sakura," Kaoru responded.

"Maybe she knows English and has a name like _Lao-la_ or _Ma-li_, y'know?" Yahiko finished.

***

Kenshin shuffled within the contents of his tatami mat, knowing fully well that sleep would not greet him tonight but he decided to wait a little while longer anyway. Another two hours later, he left the Kamiya dojo in search of some serenity to calm his raging thoughts. With no particular destination in mind, he allowed his feet to carry him to wherever they pleased.

The question that had occupied his mind the entire evening again echoed in his head. _Could she have been…?_ The clues, signs, evidence… all connected flawlessly back to her. The lady had an identical physical figure and features as she did - at least, the last Kenshin remembered - the hair, the eyes, and even the shoulder wound that was undoubtedly given by him, the voice, the demeanor… 

But one thing contradicted everything - _she is dead_. It was with his very own hands that he had taken away her life and buried her body to continue onto the next life where hopefully, she could rest in peace without the tragedy of the world, without him.

Ever since that moment, he had realized her great impact upon his life. She had always been the one who kept him alive, pushed him to continue, and it was always for her that Kenshin had fought in order to give protection to those who needed it. 

Putting aside his thoughts for a moment, the samurai tried to recognize his surroundings and figure where he was. A quiet voice answered for him. "You're by the river again." Turning around to face her, Kenshin agreed with a nod and they stayed in silence again before she asked, "What are you doing here? In the late of the night?"

"Clearing some thoughts of mine. And you? What brings you here?"

Before, the lady had been leaning forward, her attention on the ground but then stood up straight to answer. "I was looking for a silk sash of a violet hue that I had lost a while ago."

"I don't believe you'll find it here," Kenshin replied as he neared her, pretending to search for the missing sash also. They both simultaneously stopped, each knowing the attempt was futile. The quiet lengthened, the only sounds were of the snow-tipped blades of grass shuffling against each other and the occasional passing of the wind while the river stayed silent. "Did you find the one whom you were looking for?"

"If he allows himself to be found." The samurai's eyes met with hers but she avoided them. "For many years, there had been a barrier created that prevented me from entering his heart. A part of me is already securely locked inside but there is a strong belief in his heart that, regardless of any extent, there will never be anymore entrances nor exits into or out of it. The reason being that only an incomplete portion of me is inside therefore giving him nothing but doubt and fear. But now, the final missing piece - the one that he's been lacking his entire life since my departure - wishes to enter. It is the piece that will finally forgive him."

"What if he's afraid that when he does re-open his heart, all of her that was previously there will disappear?"

"She will not do such an act. Her wish is for him to live as long as he can in a time of peace, in a place where he can feel a sense of purpose and belonging. Her love for him is too great to permit such an act to happen."

"She will never disappear?"

"Never." Just then, the two finally acknowledged the closeness between their bodies and with each passing second, their faces steadily drew together until at last their souls and hearts connected in an unbreakable bond through their lips. It lasted for as long as possible before the need to breathe in more air arose. With breathless smiles on their faces, the lady slightly nodded before turning away to leave.

"Please, _matte_." She paused. "Please, tell me, to erase all my childish doubts, please, tell me your name," Kenshin asked, his face seeking an answer.

Slightly turning to gaze back at him, she answered, "Himura. Himura Tomoe," and within the blink of an eye, disappeared.

End

Author's Notes: So, how was my first RK story? (A loud booing ensues.) I haven't seen the entire series, nor the OAV, nor read any of the comic, nor have I visited many sites. So, now, I bet you can tell that my knowledge of the series is very, very limited. I hope the OOC and the random monologue moments didn't ruin much but anyway, for those who read all the way - Thank you very much! Ooh, and one more thing - Kenshin/Tomoe all the way!


End file.
